Dating history
IwantU Dating Service
Adult Service
Alt Service
American courtship began when America was first breaking ties wiTH its moTHer country of England during THe Colonial period (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). Times were rough and demanded much physical labor to construct new towns, farm THe land, and just to survive. THis required a large population to meet THese demands and so courtship evolved to meet THe needs of THe immigrants. Bachelors were encouraged, even harassed, to marry as quickly as possible. THerefore, courtship became less parent-directed and more a simple necessity of interdependence THat depended on THe economic status of THe future husband in order to support a wife and family. Parents focused less on finding THe perfect mate for THeir daughter and focused more on wedding her in order to bear children to support THe work load. THis emphasis on wedding daughters as quickly as possible decreased THe lengTH of THe courtship period as well. In addition, adolescents and young adults were granted increased autonomy during THeir courtship (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). However, parents still played a large role in THe timing of THe marriage THrough THe wiTHholding of inheritance land or by prohibiting THeir sons to leave due to labor demands.
Much of THe customs of courtship during THe Colonial times revolved around rational needs and not lust (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). A man was only able to marry when he could support a family wiTH his income and possessions. Many believed THat love developed only after a marriage progressed and not before. NeverTHeless, THis quickly changed during THe 1800s when love started to become important. THe love referred to, however, was not romantic love for romantic love was seen as childish. Instead, couples sought openness and sincerity in a mate (Cate & Lloyd, 1992).
THe seeking of a mate was not necessary because most couples knew each oTHer from social activities, such as church (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). THis gave THe couple ample time and opportunity to get to know one anoTHer in a structured setting. Still, couples also met privately for walks or to talk in a parlor (similar to a formal living room today). Parents rarely monitored THese private sessions. THis gave THe couple substantial chances at having intimate relations, but due to social pressures and norms of THat time period, many refrained from having sexual relations prior to marriage. An interesting fact to note, however, is THat premarital pregnancies did occur and in THe 1770s reached an all time high of 30% (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). After THis time, premarital pregnancy was seen as impure and THe premarital pregnancy rate decreased.
Marriage itself was an easier transition for THe man THan for THe woman (Cate & Lloyd, 1992). Men's roles were largely still dominant and men used marriage as a way to facilitate not being lonely. Women, on THe oTHer hand, found THe marriage transition difficult due to THeir departure from THeir family and friends to a new house and often a new town. To ease THis transition, family members and friends would often accompany THe woman on a trip just after her wedding (Cate & Lloyd, 1992).
Quick section reference:
Courtship in THe Colonial Times
Courtship in THe 1830s to THe 1880s
Courtship in THe 1880s to THe 1920s
Beyond THe TwentieTH Century
Similarities between Today and THe Past